Not that different
by xmidnightx.xangelx.x89x
Summary: Post 2x21. After everything that's happened, Elena finds herself going to the one person she never thought she would go to - Katherine. After all, they might not be that different. / AU after 2x21 some pre - pilot events. /No femslash
1. Chapter 1

She knocked at the door. She still didn't know why she decided to go, but somehow she thought the only person who could understand was there. Even if they despised each other. In a few seconds the door opened.

"Never thought I'd see you here."

"Never thought I'd come here."

"Do you need an invitation to come in or what? Cause if you do, I can't really help the situation."

Elena walked past Katherine and went to sit in the very same chair where Katherine sat when Klaus compelled her to stab herself over and over again. The vampire examined her doppelganger's expression and thought it looked like she had been stabbed over and over again. Metaphorically.

"So, you are here completely human. Which means that a) somehow you got to kill Klaus before the sacrifice which I highly doubt; b) you stopped the ritual which is even more unlikely cause otherwise Klaus would've killed your whole Scooby gang and taken you; c)… I have no idea. So, which one is it?"

"The ritual happened. The curse is broken. Jenna died. Klaus is still alive, because Elijah spared him. And I am human because John gave up his life for me."

Surprisingly, Katherine felt sympathetic for the girl in front of her. After all, Klaus ruined her life, too.

"Stefan and Damon?"

"They are fine." Elena said, still uneasy about why the elder Salvatore was MIA after the funeral and Stefan seemed distant.

Katherine realized Elena had no idea about Damon's werewolf bite. She thought about dropping the bomb, but she was too curious why the girl was there in the first place.

"And why are _you_ here, Elena?"

The young girl looked at the much older woman in front of her. For the first time, she thought they really had more in common than the obvious.

"I lost Jenna, John and Isobel now. I lost my parents 2 years ago. And all of them died because of me, in some way. I came here to ask you how I get past it. How do I get past all the pain and the guilt that are suffocating me?"

Katherine sighed.

"You don't. It never goes away. It is always with you, in the back of your mind, even in your most glorious hour. You have three options. One - let it consume you till the point you are alive but no longer really living. Two – kill yourself to just escape it. Three – learn how to live with it and find some purpose – your brother, your lover, your friends, revenge…"

Elena didn't know what to say anymore. So she just went to the table and poured herself a glass of whiskey, then drowned it. She poured a second one and sat again. Katherine spoke again then.

"When I found them all… my siblings, my parents, I thought about going out in the sun and ending it. Me, who would do anything to stay alive. Back then, I wanted to die. I thought it would be my salvation. After I buried my family, I decided to take a walk around my village for the last time. And I walked past the house of the family my father gave my daughter to. And I saw her. I knew it was her, not one of the other children from the family, I just knew it. She was smiling and she was the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on. And then I knew that I had to stay alive to make sure he doesn't get her too. I watched over her secretly till the day she died giving birth to her third son. It was the second time I wanted to die. But I decided to keep an eye on my grandkids. And so on, till the point I decided I should live for myself. "

"And became a heartless bitch."

Katherine just smiled.

"Maybe, maybe not. The point is – what will _your_ choice be?"

Honestly, that's what Elena went there to find out – what she should do. But Katherine was right – it was up to her.

"Why did you tell me all those things? You _hate_ me, the man you love loves me, you wanted me dead. Why share things I bet no one, human or vampire, has_ ever_ known, with me?"

Katherine sighed. Wasn't that the million dollar question? Not really, though. She knew the answer.

"You remind me of me. And I don't mean your face or the fact that both Salvatores are in love with you. You remind me of the person I used to be. Before my child was taken away, before I was sent to the other side of the word against my will, before falling for the man who'd ruin my life, before learning about my fate and doing everything to escape it, before seeing my family killed because of that, before hearing my daughter's agony in her final moments, before running for 500 years, before losing and hurting the only man I've ever truly loved, before losing the love of the only man who has ever really loved me. Before all of that, I was very much like you. And now, you are going through so many things I went, too. Loving Stefan, but caring a little bit too much about Damon, so you can't let him go. Check. Being means to an end in Klaus' plans. Check. Losing your family. Check. I guess history does repeat itself."

Elena looked carefully at Katherine as the vampire followed her doppelganger's example and poured herself a drink. Suddenly, the younger woman felt a need to share her secrets as well. Things she had never told anyone. Somehow, in that moment, Elena felt like telling Katherine was inevitable.

"We have another thing in common, you and me. And Isobel, too. I guess it runs in the family."

Katherine turned around and looked at Elena, smiling curiously.

"Really? What is it? Our taste in men?"

Elena sighed. She couldn't believe what she was about to do. No one knew. Not her parents when they were alive, nor Bonnie, Caroline, Matt, Stefan or anyone else.

"It was 2008 and life was simple and great. I had the perfect family, I was cheerleader, dating the football captain, I had my friends and we had fun all the time. Until one day I realized I was 3 weeks late and I panicked. I took all kind of pregnancy test that existed and they were all positive. I was in shock; I had no idea what to do. Matt's mom had just left again and Vicki had started the drugs, so he had a lot to deal with already. I couldn't bring myself to tell mom and dad, or any of my friends for that matter. Then I started thinking about what I should do. I decided to go for abortion. But when I set my foot in the clinic I changed my mind. I may have not wanted this baby at that point, but I couldn't do it. So I decided I'd keep it and give it up for adoption. Still, I didn't want to tell anyone, so I made a plan. By the time school ended, I was 21 weeks along, but because of the baby's position, I wasn't showing that much, so I had managed to hide it with the right clothes. Then I left for the summer. I convinced mom and dad to let me go to a camp school organized for the summer. Only that I left the camp after just a week. I went to Richmond. I had some money saved, and I got a job, and I managed to support myself. I found an amazing family who wanted to adopt my baby, Melanie and Jason. Everything was going perfectly. On August 15th, I went into premature labor. I was only 34 weeks and that terrified me. The doctor promised it would be okay, but I was still scared. I prayed for the first time in my life. After hours of labor, my son was born. He was small, but really healthy. The nurses said they haven't seen a baby born at 34 weeks that well developed and that strong. I felt so proud. He was perfect. During the 3 days in the NICU, I didn't leave his side. He would squeeze my finger with his tiny hands, and smile. And, God, his smile was the most amazing thing I've seen in my life. I called him Alexander. I always thought this name was perfect, and my baby deserved the perfect name. But when he was ready to be discharged, the family came to take him. All I wanted was to never let him go, to hold him in my arms forever. But I knew I couldn't give him a good life. I was just a kid myself. So, I had to give him to Melanie while he was sleeping. I could tell she and Jason already loved him more than life itself, and it made me smile. They said that when he's old enough they'd tell him he was adopted, and that if after that he and I decided to get to know each other, connect, the door would always be open. They send me pictures every now and then. He's gotten so big, he's almost 3 now. And he is so absolutely perfect. There is not a day that passes that I don't think about him. There is not a day that I don't want to go to Richmond and see him. But I can't. Before, I couldn't because of mom and dad. Then, after their death, there were numerous times when I got into the car and was about to go there. But every time I stopped, because I thought that after losing him once, losing mom and dad, I couldn't let him go again. Then I met Stefan and got involved in all the supernatural drama, and I can't drag him into this. I can't risk him. Not him. When Klaus came, as terrified as I was, I was so grateful in that moment that Alex wasn't here. The one thing that gave me peace was that he was safe. The only thing that still keeps me going is that yesterday I received email, telling me he's healthy and happy. Cause if I didn't have this, I… "

"You'd have nothing."

The two women looked at each other, and they saw understanding, one that they couldn't have with anyone else than each other. For a few moments, they stayed quiet and finished their drinks, then Elena got up and started walking to the door when Katherine called her name and she turned around.

"For what is worth, I am sorry you had to go through this."

Elena smiled faintly.

"I'm sorry you had to go through it, too."

Elena was about to leave again when she was interrupted once more.

"Wait… There is something you need to know. It's not my place to tell, but… Damon's dying, Elena. He was bitten when he saved Caroline and Tyler. That's why Klaus used Jenna and not him. Damon was willing to be sacrificed, but he couldn't be used."

Elena's jaw tensed. This couldn't be true… But looking at Katherine, she knew she was telling the truth.

"I… I gotta see him. Now."

"That you do. Tell Stefan. I am not sure if Damon would tell him. And… in case I don't make it out of this god-damn flat before… Tell him… Tell him I am sorry for not loving him the way he wanted me to. "

Elena nodded, and Katherine knew she was grateful. Now it was time for Elena to go and try not to lose one more person she cared about, and Katherine really hoped she'd be successful.

Katherine stayed still after the door shut closed. Then, she sighed.

"Damn life!"


	2. Chapter 2

Katherine couldn't believe it. She was outside, breathing the fresh air, hearing the noises of cars, the music from the cafes and the laughter of the drunken teenagers. She was finally free. And because of the vervain she had in her system, she could go anywhere she wanted, no need to do what Klaus ordered her to do. Still, here she was, on her way to the Salvatore boarding house. Because it was _him_.

She went there as fast as she could. Still, there was something in her gut telling her she should hurry even more cause otherwise she might be too late. And if she was too late… Katherine shook the thought out of her mind as she went into the boarding house and rushed to Damon's room. She saw Elena, holding Damon's head on her chest and crying. She felt something sharp string her in the chest at the thought, but in a second she decided she was glad she was there with him, that he wasn't alone.

"You can wake him up now. I have the cure."

Elena turned around and looked Katherine in the eyes, panting and seeming so utterly broken. Desperate, crushed. Why? Hadn't she heard what Katherine had just said?

"It doesn't matter now, Katherine. It's too late."

She was kidding, right?

"He's just asleep. Shake him a bit harder and he will wake up."

The human doppelganger just kissed Damon's head in response and cried even harder. Stupid girl! What did she know? Katherine rushed and pushed her away of Damon, sitting right beside him, caressing his cold cheek.

"Damon… Wake up."

No response.

"Come on, it is not funny. Open your eyes."

Silence, only interrupted by Elena's uncontrollable sobs. Katherine started shaking his body frantically.

"Damon, wake up! I have the cure. Stefan got it, and I brought it. We found a way. Come on, open your eyes!"

But they remained closed. Why? Why wasn't he waking up? She opened the bottle and tried to pour some of Klaus's blood in his mouth, but he wasn't swallowing it, it just ran on his chin.

"Damon, come on! Drink up! I have the cure! Wake up! Drink! Be alive!"

She felt something warm and wet rolling down her cheeks and she knew she was crying.

"_Bastard_! You can't give up now! Wake up! You can't be dead! _I_ gave you _eternal life_! You promised Stefan _an eternity_ of misery! Wake up!"

But he couldn't. Her sobs were uncontrollable now, just like Elena's.

"You can't do this to Stefan! You can't do this to her! You love them, right? You can't leave them! You can't leave _me_! _I love you, damn it_!"

He looked so beautiful. Even with the color drained of his sweaty face, he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He was _her_ _Damon_. And he was _gone_.

"No! No! Damon! Please… I'm so sorry! Please…"

He wasn't there to hear all those things he had needed for 145 years. She was too late.

"Get out!" she shouted to Elena.

"I… I don't wanna leave him."

"_I_ am with him. Now get out. You got to hold him and say goodbye. I didn't. Give me _at least_ this. Get out and text Stefan before it's too late for him, too."

"What do you mean?"

Katherine sighed. Last thing she wanted to do was explain the sick torment Klaus put Stefan through. So she went with just the main points.

"He went to Klaus and got the cure – his blood. In exchange for his freedom. He gave himself over to be "Klaus's wingman" for the cure. They will be leaving town. So tell him so that he can try to find a way to escape. Hurry. Let's not be too late for a second time tonight."

Elena remained silent, looking at Katherine and Damon, for a few seconds, and then left the room. Katherine then laid on the bed, resting her head on Damon's chest, taking one of his hands in hers. The rest of the world was gone.

* * *

><p>She woke up in the same position that she fell asleep – head on Damon's heart, fingers intertwined. She looked up at his face. <em>Her Damon was<em> _dead_. The pain that shoot through her whole body was unexpected and suffocating. His face was lifeless, his beautiful blue eyes closed.

She had to get away of that room.

She stood up ready to leave, but she turned around and place one final kiss on his lips. Still so sweet.

She left.

* * *

><p>She found Elena in the cemetery. Predictable. She was leaning against her parents' gravestone with blank expression on her face. She didn't have any more tears. Good. Neither did Katherine.<p>

The vampire sat next to her doppelganger, and somehow, this gave her a glimpse of comfort. She suspected the other girl felt the same way.

"I think here is the first time I saw him. It was the first day of the school year, and I had spent all day pretending I was the same Elena I used to be. I was sitting here, writing in my diary, when a crow appeared out of nowhere. I tried to get it to leave, but it stayed. Then I saw fog, and I got out of here as fast as I could. But while I was walking, I thought someone was watching me and I turned around, and I saw a man's silhouette. Funny how I had never thought about it before, the thought just hit me today. I think it was him."

Katherine smiled faintly.

"You bet. He always had a thing for dramatic entrances."

Elena chuckled, too.

"That he did."

They sat in silence for a while, surprisingly comfortable with each other.

"I want to do for him what we did for Jenna and John. We can't give him actual official funeral – too many questions will be asked. But he should be honored properly. The others should say goodbye, and… I want to be able to come and see him sometimes."

"He'd like to be buried next to his mother. I can show you where it is."

Elena nodded, then brought herself to ask.

"How do you know he'd want that? He has never told me anything about her."

"Because after all these years, it _still_ hurt him. But I managed to get him out of him once."

"Tell me."

"Her name was Mariah, and according to him she was the most beautiful and amazing woman ever born. He said he had her eyes, and Stefan had her smile. He adored her, and she adored him. He said she sang like an angel, but she was a terrible dancer, and her laugh lighted up the whole room."

"What happened to her?"

"She got sick. Back then, the medicine wasn't so advanced, so they didn't really know what it was, she just perished away in front of them. She was gone two months after she had gotten sick. Damon was 10 and Stefan was 4."

Elena thought she was about to cry. But she couldn't anymore.

"I feel like I never really knew him."

Katherine turned around and looked at Elena.

"_No one_ has ever truly known Damon Salvatore. Not you, not me, not Stefan, not even _he_ knew himself. "

"Did you mean it, Katherine?"

They both knew perfectly fine what she meant.

"I did. It just took me a century and half and his werewolf bite to realize it."

Another episode of silence followed.

"And did you, Elena? Did you love him?"

Silence.

"It's ok, you know. To love him. It doesn't mean you love Stefan any less. _I'd know_."

Elena sighed.

"I don't know if I love… loved him. What I know is that I have no idea how to exist in a world where he doesn't."

"Me neither."

* * *

><p>Later that day, very close to where the old Salvatore mansion used to be, there was a new grave. And several people were walking towards it. To say their last goodbyes.<p>

Alaric was there; Bonnie, Jeremy, Caroline and Liz, too. And then Elena and Katherine.

The two of them were dressed differently.

_Yet they have never looked so alike_. Dead eyes, blank faces. Empty.

Everyone except the doppelgangers put their flowers. Bonne surprised them all. She kneeled next to the grave and whispered something quietly, tears filling her eyes. Katherine was the only one who heard what she said though.

"I guess you weren't irredeemable after all, right? Sorry I never gave you a chance and… She loved you. They both did."

Then the witch got up and went straight into her boyfriend's embrace. Caroline's tears were falling silently; she wasn't letting anything else out. She was being so strong. Katherine though she and Damon did well – their collaboration in turning her made Caroline strong, brave and independent.

What the fuck was wrong with her? Looking around, noticing things about all those useless people that used to be just means to an end for her… This was not her – whether Katherine or Katerina – she was not like that. What happened?

Then she saw Elena kneeling next to the grave and placing a beautiful red rose on it. She saw the girl shaking, trembling, running her hand on the grave, his name barely audible on her lips.

"_Damon…"_

And she knew what was wrong with her. He was gone.

Katherine kneeled next to Elena and places her flower on the grave. Alaric, Bonnie and the rest chose white roses. Elena chose a red one. Katherine… Her rose was black.

She could bet he'd like that if he could see and would have made some stupid sarcastic little remark.

How much she missed that.

She had no idea how long they stood like that. It could've been minutes or hours. Did it really matter? Hell, no.

Eventually, Jeremy came behind his sister and told her they should head back. Elena told them to go and that she'd follow soon. The two girls were alone there, on the grave of that man who turned both their hearts upside down. Katherine was pretty sure. They were thinking about the same thing. What Elena said then just confirmed it.

"He would've wanted Stefan to be here."

"He would."

"You know, he didn't say it directly. But he wished Stefan was there when… He regretted blaming him all those years, and wanted me to tell Stefan he was sorry. I promised him I would, and now I will have to break that promise."

"Don't be angry at Stefan. He just wanted to save him. He sacrificed his whole life for that."

"I know. But I need _someone_ to blame. And in result, I blame _everyone_. Klaus, Elijah, Stefan, Tyler, myself…"

"And me?"

"Not you. You could've disappeared the second Klaus let you go, and you came rushing. For once, I don't blame _you_."

They spent a few minutes in silence, and then Katherine got up.

"You should go home, Elena."

"And where are you going?"

"I have a visit to pay. Then I am going after Klaus."

Elena lifter here eyes to Katherine's face in shock.

"You spent 500 years running from him."

"True. But I am not running anymore. I will free Stefan and make Klaus pay for everything he did. Even if it's the last thing I do."

Katherine then smiled.

"I promise, if after I save Stefan from big bad Klaus he still wants you and not me, I will leave you two to your sappy romance for good."

Then she turned to leave, but Elena got up and caught her hand.

"I will never forgive you for tearing them apart, for breaking his heart again when you came back, for making Jenna stab herself. I will probably never like you. But… thank you. And good luck."

"I don't like you either, kiddo. But good luck to you too."

Katherine started walking away and Elena watched her. Suddenly, she remembered something she said.

"Who are you paying visit?"

Katherine turned around.

"Tyler Lockwood."

"Katherine… He couldn't control it."

"And because I am me, I don't care. He's dead."

"It won't bring him back."

"It won't. But I won't be able to live with myself if I know I let the person who killed him get away with it. Klaus is next."

Elena sighed. She knew she couldn't change her mind. So she just nodded, and Katherine was gone the next second. Elena turned around and looked at Damon's grave again.

"Would you hate me if I told you in this moment I wish I was more like _her_, so I could do what she is about to?"


	3. Chapter 3

It has been a week since Tyler's funeral. They had found his body in the cell he used for his transformations. His limbs had been crushed. His body had been almost drained of blood (not by bite – by the countless deep knife cuts all over his body). His skin had been burned. His heart had been ripped out and left on the dirty ground.

Jeremy, Ric, Matt, Bonnie and Caroline had suspicions about who stood behind it. Elena knew. And while she was somewhat sad about her childhood friend being gone, she didn't blame Katherine. Not even a tiny little bit.

Uncontrollable or not, it was Tyler's bite that took Damon's life. Elena knew (as much as the thought scared her) that had she been a vampire, she would've helped Katherine with… taking care of Tyler.

Because missing Damon was pure agony.

She still missed her parents every second and sometimes wished only for them to hold her tight.

She even missed Isobel and the image of her birth mother burning to ashes in front of her after finally showing her love and concern haunted her dreams.

Elena missed John and felt such regret of never getting to know him better, never giving him a chance, never loving him enough.

She missed Jenna and the guilt and pain she felt about her aunt's demise were eating her alive.

And Stefan… She missed him so much it physically hurt. She felt like him being gone, God knows where, doing God knows what with that creature Klaus… The mere thought made Elena sick. She needed to see him, smell, him, touch him, hold him. But he was gone and it was driving her mad.

But missing Damon was entirely different.

Everywhere she went she remembered something about him. Sometimes she could swear he was there, drinking his favorite neat scotch in the Grill, or passing by with the Camaro, or installing himself on the couch in her living room (she hadn't been able – emotionally, to go to the boarding house yet). She saw him, for a few seconds, and just when she made a step toward him, he disappeared, and the feeling of loss crushed her once again. Every time she closed her eyes she relived those moments in his room. Every night she woke up screaming and in tears from the memory of him taking his last breath before he went completely still in her arms.

Elena felt like deep inside she had died along with him, while her body stayed alive to feel the pain of his loss as a punishment for all the times she had hurt him.

Every day for the past week and something, Elena did the same routine every day. She woke up in the middle of the night by a nightmare. She spent hours in her room, going through memorable stuff (about her parents, John, Jenna, Stefan, Damon). Around 7 – 8 AM she went downstairs and gave Ric pills for his hangover, then went to wake up Jeremy and tell him she loved him. Then she'd go to Bonnie to ask her once again to try a different tracking spell to find Stefan, and when Bonnie couldn't do anything with her 'witchy mo – jo' as Damon had loved to call it, they'd try to investigate the old fashioned way. After some hours of trying to track Stefan, after noon, she'd go to the cemetery. She'd visit her parents first, then Jenna and John. And then she'd go to Damon's grave and just sit there till dark. Sometimes she read something, sometimes she tried to write in her diary (unsuccessfully), sometimes she'd talk to him, and sometimes she'd just sit and do nothing.

That day, it was a 'sit and stare' day. Elena sat there for a good few hours without doing anything, till her phone buzzed in her pocket. She wanted to ignore it, but with the kind of life she and the people she loved had, she knew she had to pick up, so she did without even bothering to look who was calling.

'Hello.'

'I'm almost out of Virginia, so I decided to call. I think I got a lead on Klaus and Stefan. Seems like they are headed to North Carolina. I won't call you again till I have something solid.'

For some reason, one that Elena couldn't properly explain, she wasn't surprised Katherine had decided to call her. What surprised, excited her, was the glimpse of hope she finally got.

'What is that lead, Katherine? The others and I, we have been trying to connect some dots and figure something, anything out, and yet we have no idea. How the hell did you get that lead?'

'A lady's gotta keep her secrets.'

'Good thing you are a bitch and not a lady then.'

'Ouch. The kitten has grown some claws, I see. Good. You'll need that. But I am still not telling you a thing. Deal with it. I actually called you for another reason.'

'And what might that be?'

'He's beautiful, Elena.'

Elena knew, she just knew who Katherine was talking about, and her heart began beating like crazy, racing in her chest.

'He looks a lot like you, but he has his daddy's eyes and smile. He's full of life, healthy and happy. And safe. Still I made sure there is increased protection – compelled the folks to put vervain in their coffee and his fresh OJ and to be careful with who they invite in. I think he'll be ok.'

When she heard that, Elena finally felt like she could breathe again. He was okay. Her son was safe, happy, and now even more protected. The joy… Elena felt almost guilty for feeling such joy in a time like this, but she just couldn't help it. Alex was ok.

Katherine's words had sounded warm and caring – so unusual for her. She had looked for Alex, found him, checked up on him and made sure he was protected. Did she really care?

'How? Why?'

'Don't insult my intelligence – we may look the same, but I got the brains in the family. You told me the adoptive parents' names. I did a bit of research and there was only one family of Melanie, Jason and a son Alexander. As to why, I am a mother too. And as much as I hate you, we are family. So he, too, is my family.'

Both women didn't say anything for a while. The understanding that had started growing between them became even stronger. Only Elena could understand Katherine about this, and only Katherine could do the same in return.

After the few moments of silence, and them both taking in the fact that they had something that bonded them together despite everything that had happened between them, Elena once again spoke with a raspy voice.

'He really is ok?'

On the other side, Katherine smiled genuinely for the first time in ages.

'More than ok. He's perfect.'

'Thank you.'

'Don't get used to it.'


	4. Chapter 4

Elena was in the living room, drinking a glass of Rick's favorite bourbon and thinking about the last 3 months.

After that last call she got from Katherine, she confided in Bonnie about her conversation with the other doppelgänger, about the supposed lead on Stefan and Klaus's whereabouts. The two girls it would be best if they still tried to figure out and get a lead themselves, so they continued working on that with the other part of their Scooby gang as Damon used to call it, though only the two friends knew of Katherine's plan and involvement. So, the search went on and on, always hitting dead-end after dead-end. Every day for 3 months.

Jeremy got a job at the Grill and worked with Matt and the two got closer, for which Elena was more than happy, because they both needed it. Matt for the most part got over his anger and fear of their formerly secret reality and was trying to be as helpful as possible. Caroline's mom also overcame her first feelings and was closer to her daughter than ever. Caroline and Matt got close again after Tyler's funeral. They weren't together, but they had this romantic and cute non - romance going on and everyone was making bets on when they'd get back together. Elena's bet was the party for the start of the school year. Rick… Rick was a mess. Losing Jenna and Damon in the matter of days wrecked him. Even though never said it out loud, he had become pretty much an alcoholic this summer. Every night he'd get so drunk he'd pass out and Elena and Jeremy would have to carry him to his bed. Elena knew she had to talk to him that it couldn't go on like this, but she didn't have the strength. Actually, she felt so exhausted that she didn't know how she went through her days.

The nightmares about Damon's death hadn't stopped. They were accompanied by nightmares about her parents', Jenna's, Isobel's, John's deaths as well, but those about Damon were the most constant ones. Every single night. It was unbelievable how much more she missed him every day.

Of course she missed Stefan, too. Stefan had been the reason she began to love life again after giving up her child and losing her parents. Stefan was her first real love. Stefan was her rock in many times. Of course she missed him a lot. Some days she'd wish he could just be here and tell her it was all gonna be ok.

But missing Damon was so much more. Knowing he was gone for good, knowing he would never smirk again, never drink his scotch again, never make a sarcastic comment again, knowing she'd never see him, touch him, smell him again… Knowing he took his last breath in her arms… It made Elena go crazy. And even if one could take this out of the equation, she missed _**him**_. She missed his surprise visits in her bedroom at night. She missed the way he could always see through her. She missed his protectiveness. She missed him calling her out on her shit. She missed those moments when he let his guard and walls down and she saw the true, real, raw Damon. God, she missed him, all of him!

Even if she sometimes hated herself for it, she realized one of the reasons she needed for Stefan to come back is to have some connection to Damon. Because as much as the two Salvatores were different, there had always been something that was so… common in the two of them. Elena knew it was wrong to want Stefan partly as a reminder to Damon, but she didn't care. Not at all.

She now slept in one of Damon's shirts. After a month she had finally been able to go back to the boarding house. The first time she stepped inside she was ready to break down. She did that when she went upstairs in Damon's room. The second she saw the bed she collapsed on it, hugged the pillow that still had a hint of the smell of his cologne and cried till she couldn't breathe. When she put herself together, she took a couple of his shirts, his favorite scotch glass, and a couple of his books. She now read only those books. She now slept only in those shirts. She now drank a bit of liquor only from this glass every night. Some nights she even slept in his bed.

Elena knew that it was probably unhealthy, but she ignored that. She needed that. Because she loved him.

She wasn't really sure what kind of love it was – it was not just platonic, it was not the way she loved Stefan. She wasn't sure when or how it happened. All she knew was she loved him and always would. Just like she'd always love Stefan. And nothing like it at the same time.

All of that was going through Elena's head when she heard a knock on the door. It was after midnight and she was freaked out about who might be at this hour, but something in her told her it was something good. So she took a deep breath and went to open the door. What she saw rendered her breathless.

There, at the door, stood Stefan.

'Hi, Elena.'

Elena couldn't breathe, couldn't speak. All she could do was pull him in the tightest of hugs and hold on to him for dear life as he held her just as tightly.

After what felt a million years they let go and pulled away, looking at each other, both with tears in their eyes.

'How?' was all Elena could say.

Stefan led them to the couch and caressed her cheek when she sat next to him. Then he smiled a little and said:

'Katherine.'

Elena smiled too.

'I knew she'd succeed. But how? Where is she? Where is Klaus?'

Stefan took a deep breath and started telling her everything.

'When I went to Klaus, I promised him a decade with him in exchange for his blood. As much as I love you, I didn't think twice before I did it. After I got your message… It was easy to leave with him, Elena. I turned it off. I just… couldn't. I still can't. So I turned it off and left with Klaus. We traveled and killed. And I enjoyed it. Soon I found out he wanted to make hybrids, and I tried to help him. But he was unsuccessful. I figured out it might have something to do with you being alive, but even if my emotions were off, I didn't say anything. We went to Chicago. Turned out I had met Klaus and his sister Rebekah back in the 20s and he compelled me to forget because they were on the run. He let me remember and we awoke his sister because he thought she could be helpful with the hybrids. That is when Katherine found me. At first I told her to get lost. But then she said that you were a wreck, that you needed me. That I didn't have to be Klaus' little bitch. That Damon would kick my ass if he could. And that was like a wake up call for me. Katherine and I started working together to destroy Klaus. With the help of a witch, we managed to contact the original witch, the one who put the curse on Klaus. Turns out it was his mother. She turned all her children and her husband to insure their safety, but after a while realized what she did and regretted it. Klaus killed her and made his siblings believe their father did it. A friend of her, Bonnie's ancestor, helped her and kept her body. Klaus kept her locked in a coffin just like all his daggered siblings. She helped us, we awoke the other Originals, we awoke her and found her husband who had a white oak stake – the only thing that can kill an Original. By then I had left Klaus and he was hunting us all down. We worked together to defeat Klaus. We were all working on a plan, or at least we thought so. Esther performed a spell that linked all the siblings so that if one died, they all would die and one of them, Finn, was helping and the plan was for her to kill him and for them all to die. But it also meant all vampires would die, because we all originate from them. Elijah helped us stop Esther and Finn. Katherine and I, we killed Esther with the help of Katherine's witch, and made everyone believe she left to find another way to get rid of all vampires. Finn didn't believe us, but he got killed soon after, Klaus killed him. After that, we found a spell that allowed us to… mortify Klaus. It's the same spell that was used on Mikael, the father of Klaus and the others. We took him down. He's… petrified, frozen and buried deep in the ground and the place is spelled, so he can't be woken up. Elijah and the others left the country and I got his word we'll never hear from them again. That was a month ago. After that, I was free to come back. But I didn't instantly. I still had problems with the bloodlust and Katherine had to help me get in control. And also… I wasn't ready. To come back here, where it all started. Where Damon and I were born and raised, where we died and turned, where we became brothers again and where he died… I am still not completely ready, but I am ready enough to come back to you. I… I missed you so much, and I couldn't do any of it without thinking about you. I need you in my life to be able to… go on and live in a world where my brother doesn't exist. Cause with him gone, if I don't have you near, I have no reason to live.'

Elena listened carefully through every word Stefan said and let it all sink in. Klaus was gone for good. Stefan was back…

'Stefan, I… I don't know what to say. I can't even process it all except that fact that Klaus is gone and you are here… The rest is just a blur and right now it doesn't matter to me. You're back, you are here and… God, I missed you!' she said before pulling him for a long waited kiss. He kissed her back with the same longing, need, love and gratitude as she did. No words were needed – they said it all with that kiss.

When they went to Elena's bedroom, she put on Damon's shirt she slept in and laid next to Stefan. He hugged her, not questioning why his girlfriend slept in his brother's shirt. He… got it. They laid in silence for a long time, just reveling in the feeling of having the other beside them. But the silence was heavy with the weight of an inevitable topic lingering in the air.

It was Elena who first addressed it.

'He… He wanted me to tell you he was sorry. He didn't say it, but I know he wanted you to know he loved you. So much, Stefan… I am sure he wanted you to be there, but he understood you were fighting for him.'

Stefan tightened his hold on Elena, before speaking with raspy voice.

'I… When Klaus ordered Katherine to take the cure to him, I thought she would never do it. I thought she would just take off to Brazil. And when I got your text and read 'Katherine came'… I have never felt such joy in my life. But then… At first I couldn't process it. But then… Then I remembered watching him walk through the cemetery and disappearing in the horizon and… I turned it off that very second, Elena. I… I couldn't. I still don't know how I will get through every day. He's… was my brig brother. He taught me how to get on a horse when we were little. He told me stories about our mother even if I could see how much it hurt him. He stayed with me when I had nightmares. He protected me. He… Even after we turned and he had sworn to make my life miserable he still had my back. He was the only constant thing in my life. We may have done so much to hurt each other, but… He was still my brother, my best friend, even when he was my worst enemy. And… I told him I loved him just once in our whole lives. I was 4 and it was Christmas. He gave me some toy of his I really wanted, and I said I loved him. But our father then said that we were going to be real men and real men don't do sentimentalities, especially with one another. And unlike Damon, I wanted to please him. So I not once again in our human life told him I loved him. And after we turned… It was so complicated. Or so we thought. I am so stupid. I should have fought harder for his forgiveness. I should've told him I loved him…'

'He knew, Stefan. Just like you knew that despite all, he loved you and that he'd die for you.'

'Did he… Was he…'

'I think he was in peace. He blamed himself for what he had done, and I told him I had forgiven him everything. He… kind of admitted he missed being human, or at least his human self. He told me he wished I had met him when he was human cause I would've liked him then, and I told him the truth – that I liked him just like he was, good and bad.'

Stefan smiled a little.

'I am so glad you were with him. He loved you so much, you know that, right?'

Elena left out a sight and smiled through her tears.

'I do. And I love him. I don't exactly know how, in what way or what it means, but I love him, Stefan.'

"I know, and it's ok.'

* * *

><p>The next morning Stefan and Elena were woken up by Jeremy. Everyone gathered in the Gilbert house to welcome Stefan back. It was the first time in a long while when everyone was smiling genuinely. Even Rick was in a good mood. It was the first ray of light after a long darkness. After a kind of celebration, everyone got back home, Jeremy went to work and Rick decided to finally get that much-needed haircut. Stefan and Elena were left alone and Elena decided to ask him something that was important to her.<p>

'Where is Katherine?'

'She is in Mrs. Flowers' B&B. She said she wanted to stay for a few days and then she'll be leaving. I offered her to stay at the boarding house but she refused. Why?'

'I want to see her and talk to her.'

'If you are worried about the month she and I…'

'It's not that, Stefan. It may sound weird but… We bonded. We have some sort of understanding and she gets some things no one else can. And I wanna talk to her. Also I wanna thank her. After all, she's the reason you are here.'

Stefan just nodded, though Elena could see that her words surprised him, but as always, he gave her freedom to make her own choices.

'I will go see her now and I will call you later.'

* * *

><p>Elena knocked on the door of Katherine's room and in response heard 'You know I heard you when you were downstairs, don't you?' which she took as 'come in'.<p>

Katherine was drinking a glass of wine (or at least that's what Elena chose to believe cause it would've been way too disgusting if it was blood), sitting on the edge of the bed. Elena sat in the chair across of her.

'So, did you show Stefan last night how much you had missed him?'

'It's none of your business, Katherine.'

'I'll take that as a no. Not gonna say I am surprised though. After all, you are miss Goodie two shoes.'

'Cut the crap. It's not what I am here for. I wanna say thank you.'

There was no need to specify what for, they both got it.

'Hey, I got a pretty good deal out of it too. Finally not running from Klaus after 500 years. That is something.'

'Don't act like you did it just for yourself. I know part of it was for revenge, and part of it was for you, another for Stefan, but I know it was also for me. And you brought Stefan home without making a move on him, even if he's the man you love. So don't lessen what you've done and accept my gratitude. So, thank you, Katherine.'

The vampire tried to smirk, but instead a real smile appeared on her face.

'You are welcome, Gilbert. But don't let it spread, it will ruin my reputation.'

'Not a chance – you may do good, but you are still a bitch.'

'Thank you.'

'And what are you gonna do now?'

'Stay around a few days, take care of some things. Then probably gonna go to the Bahamas. 500 years and I still haven't been there. About time to change that.'

Elena nodded. She was about to stand up and leave, when she stopped herself and turned to Katherine again.

'I know it's not gonna be easy with us looking the same and all, but you can stay longer if you want to. You are welcome at my home, and at the boarding house too.'

'What, are we BFF-s now?'

'No. But you are a friend. And you should know you are always welcome here.'

'Thanks, but no thanks. I do what I have to do and then I am out of here. Have freedom to enjoy.'

'As you wish. But the offer is always on.'

With that Elena stood up and headed to the door. She stopped though and once again turned to Katherine.

'Can I ask you something?'

'You just did.'

'Why didn't you make a move on Stefan? You had the perfect chance. You spent months with him, you were kind of his savior, and then you spent 1 month just the two of you. I know you love him, so I am wondering.'

Katherine raised her eyebrows and smiled bitterly.

'You know why. The same reason your bed didn't see any action last night.'

Damon.


End file.
